I have become … Elton Weintz

I write this from a nicely appointed room in the Manchester Grand Hyatt in San Diego, California.  I’m in town for the 31st annual educational conference of the National Association for Healthcare Quality, for which I delivered a 75-minute lecture on ethical principles relevant to … you guessed it! … healthcare quality.  The really nice thing is that NAHQ is most generous to its speakers; the association paid full airfare, conference registration, and one night’s stay at the hotel.

San Diego is perfection.  No getting around it.  The hotel is on the bay, so outside my window lies the Pacific; plus, there is a tourist mecca nearby (Starlight Village, or something) filled with neat little shops and restaurants.  After my presentation, I left the conference early and went to see the sights.  I toured the USS Midway (an aircraft carrier in service 1945-1992), then went to the Maritime Museum where I toured a Soviet-era Foxtrot attack submarine and a pair of sailing ships.  One of them was the ship used in the film Master and Commander (HMS Surprise, which is actually a recently constructed replica of the 18th-century HMS Rose), and the other is in the Guiness Book of World Records for being the oldest sailing ship that still actually sails (the Star of India, which has an iron hull but sailing masts).  I hope to visit the San Diego Zoo tomorrow.  Woo hoo!

On a slightly more depressing note, I turned 30 last week.  I am now officially a Doppelgänger for Elton Weintz, although it’s ambiguous as to which of us is more truly evil.  On the bright side, I did have some fun with entering middle age — dinner with my cousin Callista, dinner with my mom, making my brother feel bad for forgetting, dinner with Emilie/Jon and Tony/Brittin, lunch with a gaggle of gals from the office.

Duane seems to be settling into the University of the Pacific as well as I could have hoped.  He is busy, but he seems happy, which is what’s important.  It almost makes me regret sending Sally his new address ….

Happy anniversary!

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the founding of my parish church, St. Anthony of Padua.  For the first two years, the parish was under diocesan control, and again for the last two, but in the intervening 96 years, we were shepharded by the Conventual Order of Friars Minor (the black Franciscans).

This evening, we had an anniversary Mass, which featured several of the friars who had been stationed at St. Anthony’s in recent years.  Among the friars whom I remembered, in attendance were Frs. Fred, Bernie, JR, John and Ray, as was the Franciscan provincial.

Fr. Mark’s homily was appropriate and well-delivered, and the music was great.

Happy anniversary, St. Anthony’s!

Oh, crap …

… has it really been a month since my last post?  Oy, vay.  In my defense, there’s been a lot going on.  Herewith an update.

  1. Work has been a bit strange.  It’s amazing what a few weeks’ time will do, politics-wise.  Now I just need to convince my boss that she grossly underpays me for my work.  Note to Shannon … Would you remind Tracey of the injustice of it all?
  2. Duane has successfully left Michigan, presumably never to return.  He made it to California in one piece — for which, I am most grateful.  I think he needed it.  Let us hope that he didn’t take his Michigan “cloud of doom” with him across the Rockies.  Eh, he’s probably sitting at Round Table Pizza with his three hot Asian girlfriends, playing WoW on his laptop (upgraded to two gigs of RAM, no doubt) and secretly getting ready — in his first assignment as a federal investigator — to bust Osama and disarm the nuclear bomb planted along the San Andreas.  Seriously.  It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.  The man’s like a portly little Shaolin monk, ready to strike at a moment’s notice, or maybe just to grab a diet Dr. Pepper.  You never can tell.
  3. Duane out, Rick in.  Even though I’m working like a rabid monkey on crack trying to replace Duane in the office, Rick has come in as a part-time project coordinator.  And so far, so good — his desire to succeed is relieving (or is that re-living?) my stress headaches already.
  4. God bless Tony Snyder.  Thanks to a psychological kick-in-the-butt swiftly delivered to me by him, over dinner and too much mid-grade wine, I’ve been building my own business.  Most of the administrative heavy lifting (IRS forms, LLC registration with the State of Michigan) is done, now I just need to finish arranging for a merchant processing account and life should be good.
  5. What is this business, you ask?  It’s a subscription-only, human-edited daily news brief service.  My read on the market is either that I’ll do very, very well … or be out the couple hundred bucks that it’s costed me to start this baby.  Time will tell.  But it’s time to defecate or to descend from the porcelain throne.
  6. And, in turn, I think (hope) I talked Tony into staring his own law practice.  Funny thing; I think he misunderestimates himself.
  7. Maybe I’m onto something; lunch last week with Stacie featured me trying to convince her to strike out as a private “organizational dynamics” consultant of some sort.  She’d be good at it, too.  I’d hire her.  But then again, I’d be afraid not to. 🙂
  8. It’s amazing how heroic people think you are for volunteering for a few days to help on a Habitat for Humanity house.  I did that the first few days of August — it was fun (and damnably hot), but what was interesting was the reaction of people when they found out.  It was as if the very ground upon which I trod was holy.  Don’t misunderstand; I’ll take holy auras whenever I can get them.  I just didn’t expect one in this case.

Enough for now.  I’ll have to do this more often.

Realignments, &c.

* It appears that Rick is coming into my workgroup just as Duane makes his escape back to California. It’s unfortunate that there won’t be much of an overlap, and I regret seeing Duane go, but I think this will make him happier — and his happiness genuinely important to me. He deserves some inner peace.

Duane will depart in mid-August; I may actually accompany him to his new abode. A good, long road trip sounds delightful, actually.

* I’ve made more progress on starting a news-brief service. I’ve purchased the domain and am about to file papers to establish a Michigan LLC. Working on setting up the merchant account and subscription-management tools. I am actually enjoying this! If this works as I expect, I stand to make a fair amount of money — and if my read of the market is wrong, I’m really only out time, since my start-up costs are minimal. No real downside, and a lot of potential if I manage this correctly. Thanks to Tony for his words of encouragement.

* I recently bumped up my running rotation … I’m now up to eight miles. I start at 54th/Division, head south to 60th, east to Kalamazoo, north to 44th, west to Division, south to 54th. It’s exactly 8.0 miles. The distance isn’t hard at all, but I’m not especially swift — the first time out, it took 78 minutes to complete the course, which is odd given that my first mile is usually finished in about 7:15. I guess I’m more about endurance than speed.

Realignments, &c.

  • It appears that Rick is coming into my workgroup just as Duane makes his escape back to California. It’s unfortunate that there won’t be much of an overlap, and I regret seeing Duane go, but I think this will make him happier — and his happiness genuinely important to me. He deserves some inner peace.
    Duane will depart in mid-August; I may actually accompany him to his new abode. A good, long road trip sounds delightful, actually.
  • I’ve made more progress on starting a news-brief service. I’ve purchased the domain and am about to file papers to establish a Michigan LLC. Working on setting up the merchant account and subscription-management tools. I am actually enjoying this! If this works as I expect, I stand to make a fair amount of money — and if my read of the market is wrong, I’m really only out time, since my start-up costs are minimal. No real downside, and a lot of potential if I manage this correctly. Thanks to Tony for his words of encouragement.
  • I recently bumped up my running rotation … I’m now up to eight miles. I start at 54th/Division, head south to 60th, east to Kalamazoo, north to 44th, west to Division, south to 54th. It’s exactly 8.0 miles. The distance isn’t hard at all, but I’m not especially swift — the first time out, it took 78 minutes to complete the course, which is odd given that my first mile is usually finished in about 7:15. I guess I’m more about endurance than speed.

Restoring the chi

There is great benefit to thinking things through, to making informed decisions after careful reflection and logical analysis. But sometimes, on matters of great importance to the self, we hide a premise or two from our conscious thought — and exploring one’s own behavior can be the key to completing the syllogism and thus overcoming the mental barrier.

Yesterday I had a delightful dinner with my dear friend Tony. We went to a nice little restaurant in Okemos, Mich., and split a decent bottle of Merlot with our meal. During the conversation — which, despite that we had gathered to celebrate his birthday and his passage of the state bar exam, was dominated by discussion of me — he helped me to realize that some of my thinking about a number of personal and work-related issues was rooted in tunnel vision about my options.

In December 2004, I had to effect several personally challenging decisions about what I was doing, and why. As a result, I left the editorship of the Western Herald and put my graduate program on hiatus. And I don’t regret it for a minute. My breakthrough came when I realized that I had the option to simply walk away. Such knowledge is incredibly liberating.

And such knowledge was forgotten until Tony reminded me that I have other paths that could branch out before me.

Where will I be in three months? I honestly don’t know. I might be still gainfully employed at the hospital, doing what I do with data. Or, I might be preparing to re-launch my graduate studies while reaping the profits of a potentially quite lucrative business venture. Or, I might be getting ready to begin training as a Navy officer. Or, I might be working full-time as a journalist. Who can say? I can’t — and that’s rather fun.

Fundamentally, I forgot that I have options, and the false sense of entrapment that had been bugging me in recent weeks abated as I appreciated that my happiness is my own to create. When you have options, you have the freedom to put life’s frustrations into their proper place and to focus on what’s really important.

As Tracey might say … my chi has been restored. And all at the cost of a little trite psycho-philosophizing. Not bad.

Getting older

I met my friend Corey for lunch today. I hadn’t seen him in more than a year; since we last met, he and his wife welcomed a daughter into the world and are expecting another child around Christmas.

The conversation was quite pleasant. I can tell that Corey’s perspectives on a lot of things are shifting. The discussion, for example, wasn’t focused on the past, but rather on the present.

As I look with growing horror at the big three-oh in September, I can’t help but reflect on how others have developed over the years. People like Corey, Rick, Duane and Tony have grown much in the years that I’ve known them. Probably Emilie, too, although I haven’t seen her in far too long. As for the rest I’ve encountered … of those I’ve known well, most have not (yet) adjusted well to life after the extended adolescence afforded by years of undergraduate education. And that’s a shame.

As Corey and I discussed — you can tell who has made peace with their new reality by judging what you talk about. With some people, all you can do is engage in acts of social memory, as if the ability to make new memories has somehow been obliterated. With others, the now-and-to-be is more important. These people, they get it. Fundamentally, they get it.

On the bright side, I have reason to add one more friend to my “get together at least once per fiscal quarter” list. Ha.

King Tut

Without question, I need more time to reflect on whatever has been bothering me so much at work that I’ve been reduced to swearing at the IT people in meetings.  I had planned to take Friday-Monday-Tuesday off for the Independence Day holiday, but decided on Wednesday to leave early and take Thursday off, too.  Which is today.  And I decided, late yesterday, that I needed to “do something.”

So, this morning I rolled out of bed, drove to Chicago, and spent the day at the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium.  I got to see the artifacts from King Tut’s tomb (including some amazing treasures so intricately crafted that I doubt contemporary artisans could do better — especially the golden dagger wrapped in Tut’s linens), and take in the other joys of the museum.  The Tut exhibit featured a roughly chronological narrative, displaying artifacts from the 18th dynasty in a series of themed galleries before ending with Tut’s artifacts.  Somewhat strangely, the final gallery emphasized the life of average Egyptians, which was discordant with the theme of the other galleries.  Additionally, the emphasis the exhibition placed on Tut’s position as the first restorer of traditional Egyptian religion after the upheaval of Egyptian-style monotheism seemed incongruous.  Yes, it was the major event of the day, but I’m not confident that weaving a purely religious monotheism-versus-polytheism motif throughout the exhibition would have the payoff among museum attendees as it might among antiquities scholars.

Of course, I did make the mistake of assuming that the “directions” provided by the Field Museum had some basis in reality.  So I ended up touring downtown Chicago before I made my way to the museum.  I was worried at first that I was 45 minutes late (the Tut exhibit has timed tickets, to avoid lengthy lines and overcrowding).  Fortunately, in addition to overlooking the need for a decent map, I also overlooked the implications of crossing into a different time zone, so I actually ended up being on-time for my designated hour.

Touring the Field Museum can generate an appetite.  So, after enjoying a delicious, authentic Chicago-style lunch (boiled generic hot dog with a bunch of crap on it, and a can of diet Pepsi), I meandered over to Shedd Aquarium.  Got to see the dolphin show, which was pleasant if not “Sea World spectacular.”  Duane would have loved the penguin habitat.  The various displays of a tropical rain forest were outstanding.

The trip back was also mildly vexing; I tried to time it so I’d miss Chicago’s rush hour, but alas, the fates conspired against me in the form of detours to even get onto the Dan Ryan, eastbound.  On the bright side, Illinois drivers seem more friendly and more in tune with the need for maintaining the flow of traffic than my fellow Michigan citizens.  I swear, if I’m ever elected to major office, I’m going to ban minivans.

In all, the trip lasted from 8:30 a.m. EDT to 10:00 p.m. EDT.  And I made the entire circuit in less than one tank of gas.  Woo!

Yeah, I need to get out more often.

Yet more errata

Time for another update. Woo hoo!

1. I passed the National Healthcare Quality Board’s certification exam on Friday — thus, I am now a “certified professional in healthcare quality,” with the ability to add CPHQ after my name in professional correspondence.

2. Had dinner last week with my mother, grandmother and aunt. Quite pleasant. Granny seems to be settling in well to her new condo.

3. A friend put me into an interesting ethical dilemma last week. She and I had lunch one day, and she casually mentioned what should have been a highly confidential HR matter at work — a matter that could potentially impact me and my boss and my entire division. What to do? I didn’t solicit the information, but once in my possession, I incurred a duty to act on it so as to avoid a potential problem down the road. I occasionally hear things that I shouldn’t know, and I just file them away without further relaying. But this was different. Ultimately, I mentioned it to my boss (who was quite correctly horrified that I knew); she is better positioned than I to minimize the potential of a future problem. That said, I absolutely hated to tell her. Workplace gossip has its place, and sometimes sharing certain types of information can serve a useful social purpose. But some things should never be the subject of gossip.

3. It feels like Washington is slowly merging with Hollywood. Showboating, superficiality and irrationality are the rule of the day, and even traditional sources of wisdom (e.g., National Review) are becoming predictable in tone as well as substance. The increasing polarization of the ideological spectrum is making the political space more shrill and less interesting. While the egos fight, the mild voices of reason (no matter their place on the axes) are being shouted out. What a shame; some of today’s political controversies are not insignificant.

4. A while ago, I stopped my participation in all of the political simulations in which I had played (some, for years). I broke trend a few weeks ago to assist in the development of a simulation called the “Commonwealth of Antibia” — a constitutional monarchy based on a completely made-up nation-state, with its own history, laws, and culture. My role was to serve as the first High Lord Treasurer and Antibian Economic Director, building the game’s economy. I have since resigned from Antibia because of irreconcilable differences with one of the founders, but the experience has prompted some reflection:
– The desire for control is often rooted in the very best of intentions. However, no person can control everything, and the less willing people are to give up control for the sake of the greater good, the more likely it is that the greater good will suffer. Sometimes, there must be an environment where no one has control, in order to maximize the odds that the free marketplace of ideas will promote the wisest course of action or development — think, for example, of a river. You can dam it to control it, or you can let it run its course and accommodate whatever waterways should result. Western Michigan University’s first president, Dwight Waldo, understood this. After the first buildings were erected, he decided to wait to lay the sidewalks — he wanted to see where students and faculty actually walked, and then he paved those trails. He did NOT pave what he wanted and expect that people would follow those paths.
– Authority without responsibility is meaningless. Those tasked with action must have the ability to complete that action on their own initiative, without being micromanaged by those who are not part of the process. While it’s certainly possible for authority to be centralized in a small, highly functioning group, authority cannot be so decentralized such that the process itself confers authoritative legitimacy. PEOPLE, and not processes, hold authority.
– Proceduralism is not a guarantee of fairness. Just because a system has a series of checks and balances doesn’t mean that the right outcome will be inevitable, or even better than the alternative. A system that depends on consensus can be better than a system that relies on individual power — or not. It all comes down to who sits in the majority. And if the majority is a cohesive group that does not welcome outside input, then no amount of procedural recourse will be enough to ensure an outcome that wasn’t preordained by that majority.
– Competition is healthy. Stifling the competitive urge in order to foster a spirit of cooperation will remove a critical aspect of community that provides the more cooperatively minded with a foil and a dynamic that keeps the community moving.
– Complexity can lead to richness, but it can also lead to disorientation. In general, a system should tolerate only as much complexity as is needed to promote a goal; there is decreasing marginal utility to complexity that can be counterproductive if unchecked by common sense.
– Limiting access to power means that there is less of an incentive for competitive-minded people to participate in a system.

I wish Antibia well, whatever should happen.

A good run

I just returned from a six-mile run (yes, this late in the evening).  My time was just shy of 55 minutes, which isn’t great, but I’ll take it given that 18 months ago I couldn’t walk three flights of stairs in my office building without panting and sweating.  No joke.  And, almost 1/3 of my course is uphill, with a not insignificant 3/5-mile 10 percent grade at one point.

The great thing was, the run was no big deal.  My pulse at the finish line was just about 150, and I had no aches or pains along the way.  My breathing was not unduly labored.  In fact, along the last mile, I was daydreaming and didn’t even notice about a quarter-mile of the course.  Hee hee.

This is fun — good exercise, too.